Five reasons to forgive:
1. Life is too short.
2. Harboring bitterness is not healthy.
3. Carrying the burden of hurt and anger becomes heavier and heavier.
4. Forgiving does not mean forgetting.
5. There is more power and freedom in letting go.
dr pers
April 20, 2007 at 11:06 am
How true! Letting go means no longer letting the past control today’s unwanted feelings and behaviour. The bottom line is, no matter how much we wish certain things have not happened to us, or around us, we cannot change the past. The risk of dragging around unwanted “baggage” is that we may continue to use the past as an excuse to continue unhealthy behaviour such as taking frustrations out on another who is not deserving of it.
We can only change what we do now. We live the choices we make, and we can chose to place our energies into thoughts and beliefs that support our own healthy living. It is not enough to think we’ll now forgive someone……the behaviour needs to follow. It’s congruency at it’s finest. Forgiveness is one of the most overlooked options to what seems to be an unsolvable problem. The old saying “forgive and forget” likely came from good intensions, however it may not serve us well anymore. Maybe it never did. We, the human, continue to evolve and discover the tremendous value of emotional wellness, and the costs of what is known as “stuffing”. It’s not rocket science that forgetting hurtful things is easier said than done. There can be benefits to remembering certain things though. Remembering could be a trigger to remind ourselves that this time we will do things differently…..kind of a motivator to maintain new thinking and behaviour. If we are not on board for doing things differently, it is not likely the problem will change. It may, but we could wait a very long time….and who wants that! Yes, life is toooooo short! It’s sad when problems come between loved ones and no one is willing to do anything differently. As you put it dr. pers, forgiving does not mean forgetting. It means no longer giving our emotional and behavioural control to the past, and focusing and controlling what we do now. The rewards are endless…..it’s a beautiful thing!!!
April 20, 2007 at 9:49 pm
Welcome Kerry, thanks for visiting my site.
I just knew that someone would rescue me and add some meat to my bare bones of a post. (In the midst of a yard sale here).
Thanks for explaining the benefit and possible advantage in forgiving but NOT forgetting a hurtful thing. These words were especially powerful for me: “Remembering could be a reminder to ourselves that this time we will do things differently, a kind of motivator to maintain new thinking and behavior.” Yes, it is a beautiful thing when the past no longer controls us and we are free to move forward.
I hope you’ll take a look at my next bare bones post and rescue me again! dr pers
April 23, 2007 at 11:22 am
I love these lists. And I can’t think of a thing to add. You’ve covered it all!