Ten reasons to commit yourself to another:
1. I promise to be considerate of my partner 24/7.
2. I promise to be faithful even when I don’t feel like it.
3. I promise that I will not accumulate debt that we cannot afford.
4. I promise to give in 80% of the time.
5. I promise to spend holidays with your family.
6. I promise to treat you with respect and encourage you in your dreams.
7. I promise to trust you and allow you the freedom to grow.
8. I promise to be a parent that our children can be proud of.
9. I promise to put our family’s needs before my own.
10. I promise to keep myself emotionally, spiritually and physically healthy so that I might give my best.
©2007 dr pers
April 23, 2007 at 10:30 am
Fantastic. Those would make good wedding vows, too.
April 23, 2007 at 3:31 pm
I read an article a few years ago that talked about “the love of your life”. A relationship expert claims that through his research and couples counselling work, he believes that very few people end up with the love of their life. I was immediately in disagreement and could not believe he could know such a thing. After all, did he know me, and my relationships??? hmpfff, who did this guy think he was telling me there was no one person for me, but most likely several?
What he was saying is that most of us throughout our lives meet people that we come to love in many different capacities. It is likely that we could have partnered with a number of different persons, however due to circumstances, time and place, that whole thing, things do not always go our way. He stated that we could be anywhere in the word, and would find and build a loving relationship. And here all this time I thought my ONE was out there somewhere in the universe waiting for only me. Hmmmmmm, so then I guess this means I need to open up to opportunities to meeting people and finding love again.
Living or moving in with another takes a whole other set of skills they don’t teach you in “milking the cow 101″. It is in our nature to be drawn to one another, and to build “family”. Making a family can be quite fun….maintaining it is another story! We, like other living creatures, have an extremely strong sense of belonging. That’s why we don’t all live on our own square mile and just meet monthly to trade for cows, and swap “remodelling the cabin” tips. And yes, there are so many things to take into consideration when choosing to nest. I have learned that having lots of consideration for your partner is like “a bird in the hand”. A simple gesture to inform, gather information, think of anothers likes/dislikes and just stopping to think before we act or make a decision, can return ten fold in feeling good. When we are considerate, it is more likely we’ll receive consideration. Even small gestures like making dinner if we know the other’s tired, or not watching your favorite show because you know that “The Thorn Birds” is on again for the second time this year (gently coughing). Being considerate is validation that another’s feelings/needs are important too, and after all, who doesn’t want to feel important to their loved ones. So simple to give……(except for the re-runs…but still way worth it).
Wow, can I relate to committing to spend time with extended family. That’s a big toughy, because obviously most of us like to spend some time back at the old den. These are the times when I continuously remind myself that “not everything is about me”. I’ve learned that NO, it is not neccessary that I express every little response that lands itself on my resistant thinking runway (I’ve learned to see RED lights there instead of blue ones). In the big picture, does it really matter that I argue points that may not be important or will not be heard or understood? And, how much damage am I doing to my relationship? Is it worth it? Not for me. Phew….I’ve exhausted my brains out playing this senseless ping pong game, and this Forrest Gump just ain’t gonna run that road anymore. So……I’ve learned to “pick my battles” as they say, and I’ve just learned to keep my little peepers open and my big yappers shut! And you know what……it works pretty good. I’ve learned to “not own” someone else’s stuff, and that no one died and left me boss! I thought they did, but nope, they didn’t.
Trust and respect are waaaay up there. They mean so many different things to different people, however I think it’s important to be with someone with whom you feel and share these things mutually with. You may be with one who makes most of the household decisions, but if you’re comfortable with that because you don’t like to make them, then knock yourself out!
Our “gut instinct” isn’t really magic, or a gift from the goddess. It’s just our past experiences telling us “helloooooo, we’ve been here before, or seen this before, so NO NO NO”, or “helllooooooo, we’ve been here before and oh dear d’ dear dear dear wasn’t it wonderful”!! Go ahead and take a chance. Listen to that little P.A. system in there. Learn from your past. It’ll help you make a good decision. When deciding on a partnership…….well, it’s a pretty big one. Are you compatible? Are you working your booty off to save for a house while your partner is out shopping for yet another new fishing boat? Do you hate boating….. AND fishing? Can you pick out the “fish” in this story?
You’ll know you’re ready to partner up when the two of you start thinking like a TEAM instead of “lone” distance runners. You’ll know when you don’t make yourself crazy falling asleep to all of the “what ifs”. You’ll know when your head and your heart find each other, and everything feels and looks beautiful. You’ll know when you go to bed at night reminding yourself of all the reasons why you are.
That’s all I have to say about that…
April 23, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Thank you Brian.. I’m trying to keep them in mind here every day!!
Kerry, wow, what can I say??? You had me rolling on the floor laughing… love your writing style and metaphors.
I would have to agree that there is more than ONE person that is compatible… I suspect however that some are more work than others!!???? lol
April 24, 2007 at 11:42 am
Reason to marry your partner: because you can fart in bed and they just laugh instead of wrinkling their nose in offense.
April 30, 2007 at 12:26 pm
[...] See: Ten reasons to marry or partner: http://downrightpersonal.wordpress.com/2007/04/23/ten-reasons-to-marry-or-partner/ [...]