Who Is The Threat to Traditional Marriage?

The following Letter to the Editor of the Oklahoma Gazette was written in response to another irrational commentary written by Rep. Sally Kern in the June 24th, 2009 OK Gazette.

Who is the threat to traditional marriage?
According to the State of our Unions 2005 report, 8.1% of coupled households consist of unmarried heterosexual partners. I am confused. I am trying to figure out how the Homos are finding these Heterosexual households and pressuring them to “live together and enjoy wild sex outside the bounds of marriage?” Shame, shame for preying on these innocent and vulnerable heterosexual partners.

The gay community is responsible for impregnating unwed mothers?
Same sex marriage isn’t legal in Oklahoma, yet ”forty plus percent of Oklahoma babies are born to unmarried mothers.” Who wants to guess how many of those unwed mothers are heterosexual? I am trying to figure out how the Homos and Lesbos are finding these unmarried women and impregnating them? Shame, shame, shame. Or might this be attributed to some heterosexual males? According to Rep. Sally Kern, “their bodies naturally fit together.”

 

gays are worse threat to America than terrorism…

I am sorry to say I live in Oklahoma where State Representative Sally Kerns believes that “homosexuality is a bigger threat to America than terrorism or Islam.”  While the following letter to Rep. Kern is rather lengthy for a post, its definitely worth your time. It was written by an Oklahoma high school senior.

drpers

Rep Kern:

“On April 19, 1995, in Oklahoma City a terrorist detonated a bomb that killed my mother and 167 others. 19 children died that day. Had I not had the chicken pox that day, the body count would’ve likely have included one more. Over 800 other Oklahomans were injured that day and many of those still suffer through their permanent wounds.

That terrorist was neither a homosexual or was he involved in Islam. He was an extremist Christian forcing his views through a body count. He held his beliefs and made those who didn’t live up to them pay with their lives.

As you were not a resident of Oklahoma on that day, it could be explained why you so carelessly chose words saying that the homosexual agenda is worse than terrorism. I can most certainly tell you through my own experience that is not true. I am sure there are many people in your voting district that laid a loved one to death after the terrorist attack on Oklahoma City. I kind of doubt you’ll find one of them that will agree with you.

I was five years old when my mother died. I remember what a beautiful, wise, and remarkable woman she was. I miss her. Your harsh words and misguided beliefs brought me to tears, because you told me that my mother’s killer was a better person than a group of people that are seeking safety and tolerance for themselves.

As someone left motherless and victimized by terrorists, I say to you very clearly you are absolutely wrong.

You represent a district in Oklahoma City and you very coldly express a lack of love, sympathy or understanding for what they’ve been through. Can I ask if you might have chosen wiser words were you a real Oklahoman that was here to share the suffering with Oklahoma City? Might your heart be a bit less cold had you been around to see the small bodies of children being pulled out of rubble and carried away by weeping firemen?

I’ve spent 12 years in Oklahoma public schools and never once have I had anyone try to force a gay agenda on me. I have seen, however, many gay students beat up and there’s never a day in school that has went by when I haven’t heard the word **** slung at someone. I’ve been called gay slurs many times and they hurt and I am not even gay so I can just imagine how a real gay person feels. You were a school teacher and you have seen those things too. How could you care so little about the suffering of some of your students?

Let me tell you the result of your words in my school. Every openly gay and suspected gay in the school were having to walk together Monday for protection. They looked scared. They’ve already experienced enough hate and now your words gave other students even more motivation to sneer at them and call them names. After all, you are a teacher and a lawmaker, many young people have taken your words to heart. That happens when you assume a role of responsibility in your community. I seriously think before this week ends that some kids here will be going home bruised and bloody because of what you said.

I wish you could’ve met my mom. Maybe she could’ve guided you in how a real Christian should be acting and speaking.

I have not had a mother for nearly 13 years now and wonder if there were fewer people like you around, people with more love and tolerance in their hearts instead of strife, if my mom would be here to watch me graduate from high school this spring. Now she won’t be there. So I’ll be packing my things and leaving Oklahoma to go to college elsewhere and one day be a writer and I have no intentions to ever return here. I have no doubt that people like you will incite crazy people to build more bombs and kill more people again. I don’t want to be here for that. I just can’t go through that again.

You may just see me as a kid, but let me try to teach you something. The old saying is sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you. Well, your words hurt me. Your words disrespected the memory of my mom. Your words can cause others to pick up sticks and stones and hurt others.”

Sincerely

Tucker

Technorati tags: homosexuality, terrorism, Sally Kern, gay bashing, hate, family values, christian and gay, sticks and stones, powerof words, Oklahoma bombing

 

homosexuals are a bigger threat than terrorists…

The recorded remarks against homosexuals by OK State Rep. Sally Kern has set off a firestorm this past week. Rep. Kern said earlier this year that homosexuals are “the biggest threat our nation has, even more so than terrorism or Islam.” OK House Speaker Chris Benge said there are no plans to censure her or have her apologize.

An open letter to Rep. Kern:

“Dear Rep. Kern,

Your remarks about homosexuals being the greatest threat to America is completely outrageous and lacks significant substance.

I imagine if you and I met face to face, and you knew that I was a mother of a U.S. Marine, who has completed two tours to Iraq, you would express your gratefulness for our family’s sacrifice and your appreciation for his commitment and dedication.

How is it then, that this Christian lesbian mother who has raised a courageous U.S. Marine, who taught him Christian values, who took him to Church regularly, who inspired him to be his best in “body, mind and soul,” is such a tremendous threat to you and other Americans?

Has it ever occurred to you, that I am the woman that sits next to you in church,the woman who smiled at you as we passed in the grocery store, the woman who held the door for you as you walked thru with your cup of coffee? How is it that I create such fear in your heart?

I am just one of the homosexuals who raised sons and daughters to protect your freedom of speech. Rather ironic isn’t it, that you would use this precious freedom to insult the parents of these brave men and women, who otherwise have similar values to yours?

I hardly think I am a bigger threat to America than terrorism and Islam. If anything, your thoughtless remarks are very revealing of where the real threat lies.

Ms Kern, all of us make mistakes. If you take the time to get to know some of the fine and outstanding people in our community, you will likely realize the error of making such misinformed statements.”

Hopeful for an apology,

drpers

©2008

Technorati tags: homosexuals, lesbians, values, bigger threat, Islam, Sally Kern, freedom of speech, christian and gay, ignorance

 

Finding new friends…

Ever since my partner and I have moved to a new state and city, we have been aware of the need to find new friends. Approaching our second year of new residence, we have become more intentional about attending events where we might make some gay or lesbian friends.

We found a church we like, so we started attending more regularly. We belong to a couple of email groups and attended a few social gatherings. What have we discovered thus far?

The couples that we have had the opportunity to visit with, don’t visit back! We ask them non threatening questions, allow for a lull in the conversation, give them a chance to ask us something, and zippo!  Zero! After one and two hours of not being asked a single question, we are a bit stunned. Nobody seems interested in us.

So we took an inventory:

1. Did we make eye contact? Yes.

2. Did we ask about their interests, family, jobs, how they met? Yes.

3. Were we courteous? Yes.

4, Were we kind? Yes.

5. Did we smile? Yes

6. Toothless grin? No

7. Did we chatter nonstop? No.

8. Ask about money? No.

9. Ask about religion or politics? No.

10. Discuss Sex? No.

Obviously, we are still looking for friends. We have some more possibilities at the church we are attending, but if all else fails, there’s always straight people. I was just hoping at some point in my life, to have a few interesting lesbian friends. Wish us luck!

Technorati tags: friendship, gay friends, lesbian friends, new friends, making interesting conversation

 

not realizing the potential…

My partner surprised me recently by giving me two extra wide monitors for my birthday.  Not realizing the potential, I was dumbfounded. What do I need (two) wide monitors for? (I didn’t say this out loud.) In her research, she read that video editing, working in Photoshop, is easier when you have more monitor space. We’ve talked about larger monitors for some time, but I really couldn’t imagine that it would be that big of a deal for the cost involved.

I told my sister, that J gave me two monitors for my birthday and she said, “what do you need two monitors for?” I said, “I am not sure, but J thinks I need them!”

We hooked up one monitor because this is going to require serious desk reorganization. A few days go by, my partner is wondering to herself if she made a big mistake with that big purchase. I open Photoshop several days later and whooooaaaaaa…. is this ever cool. I open up Microsoft Word and whooooaaaaa… is this ever convenient. I open up the video software…. and my lucky stars…. how did I get by with a 17 inch monitor before??

With an extra wide monitor, you can view two normal size pages at the same time, side by side. If you’re cutting and pasting, back and forth between two documents, or comparing information from two different windows, no opening or minimizing, or clicking to see what’s on the page behind. Extra wide means ample room to see numerous windows, which is a great blessing in video editing and Photoshop work.

My partner feels a LOT better that I love these new monitors and am anxious to get the second one hooked up. I told her it just took me a while to realize what a wonderful gift she had given.

This is so true in life isn’t it?  We don’t always recognize our blessings, the potential of our friends, our spouse and family members.  Hopefully, it doesn’t take a crisis to recognize the wonderful gift of those who love you.

 

Technorati tags: gift, potential, relationships, recognizing blessings

 

a mother to others…

They laid Ms. Ginny in the ground today. Her body rests peacefully after months of illness. I’ll always remember her as the woman who was a “mother to others.”

I first met Ginny when visiting the church that we eventually put our roots down into. As my eleven year old son and I tried to make a hasty exit out of the sanctuary, I was approached by a friendly woman who proceeded to make comfortable conversation. As this interesting dialogue approached the 15 minute mark, I glanced around to see if my son was still waiting for me. He was engaged in conversation with Ms. Ginny and her sister. Of course I hadn’t met Ginny yet, but any adult who made the effort to make a young visitor feel welcome, began to rate very high on my list.

As we became active in that congregation, it became obvious that Ms Ginny was a special person. Her smooth, calm voice had a way of conveying assurance and acceptance. She lived her life in a way that offered unconditional love to those who had been rejected. When other mothers renounced their sons because of their sexual orientation, Ginny was there to offer friendship, love, and a shoulder to cry on.

There is one Mother’s Day I hope I never forget. Ginny had recently fallen and needed assistance to walk. When she arrived at church, a member of the choir named Barry, greeted her affectionately. It was obvious that Ms. Ginny meant a lot to Barry. He pinned on a corsage and proudly escorted her to a pew. It was a touching moment. Ms. Ginny wasn’t Barry’s natural mother, but yet a real mother. She offered Barry unconditional love during a difficult time in his life, and became like family to him and his partner.

Yes, that part of the sanctuary is a little darker where Ms. Ginny usually sat. However, her life reminds me and all who knew her, the importance of being a loving presence. That place in the sanctuary will become brighter as others fill in for her absence. This is one way the love of God is passed on from generation to generation, learning from and being inspired by the saints who have lived amongst us.

Goodbye Ms. Ginny, thank you for showing us how to be a “real mother” to others.  ©2007

Technorati tags: mother to others, sexual orientation, unconditional love, love of God, saint, loving presence, real mother

 

ten reasons to marry or partner…

Ten reasons to commit yourself to another:

1. I promise to be considerate of my partner 24/7.

2. I promise to be faithful even when I don’t feel like it.

3. I promise that I will not accumulate debt that we cannot afford.

4. I promise to give in 80% of the time.

5. I promise to spend holidays with your family.

6. I promise to treat you with respect and encourage you in your dreams.

7. I promise to trust you and allow you the freedom to grow.

8. I promise to be a parent that our children can be proud of.

9. I promise to put our family’s needs before my own.

10. I promise to keep myself emotionally, spiritually and physically healthy so that I might give my best.

©2007 dr pers

 

Technorati tags: dating, engaged, marriage, partners, love, homosexuality, sexuality, relationships, values, lesbians, family

 

sexual orientation or sexual preference…

“Sexual orientation or sexual preference”  was a phrase that caught my eye last week in surfing the internet.   As I continued to think about this question, I realized I have used sexual preference  numerous times in conveying information about myself.   

What has me bothered is that I have used words that convey that I had a choice.   I do not prefer women like I prefer coke over pepsi, democrat over republican or Christian over Muslim.   I was drawn to the female population at a young age and never had a choice.  It came naturally.

I’ve realized with horror that I’ve used words given to me by society to convey something about myself that is not true.   I am wondering where the popular phrase of “sexual preference” came from?  Maybe some of you know of its origin?

From now on,  I will be using sexual orientation,  or possibly sexual identity.  It is a part of who I am,  much like my unique characteristics or personality.   Maybe if we all stop using sexual preference and replace it with orientation or identity, more people will stop thinking of it as a choice?    ©2007  dr pers