The following Letter to the Editor of the Oklahoma Gazette was written in response to another irrational commentary written by Rep. Sally Kern in the June 24th, 2009 OK Gazette.

Who is the threat to traditional marriage?
According to the State of our Unions 2005 report, 8.1% of coupled households consist of unmarried heterosexual partners. I am confused. I am trying to figure out how the Homos are finding these Heterosexual households and pressuring them to “live together and enjoy wild sex outside the bounds of marriage?” Shame, shame for preying on these innocent and vulnerable heterosexual partners.

The gay community is responsible for impregnating unwed mothers?
Same sex marriage isn’t legal in Oklahoma, yet ”forty plus percent of Oklahoma babies are born to unmarried mothers.” Who wants to guess how many of those unwed mothers are heterosexual? I am trying to figure out how the Homos and Lesbos are finding these unmarried women and impregnating them? Shame, shame, shame. Or might this be attributed to some heterosexual males? According to Rep. Sally Kern, “their bodies naturally fit together.”

Those who are concerned about preserving traditional marriage, ought to spend their energy on dealing with sexually active teens and unwed mothers. Sally, if you and your followers focus on making a difference in the heterosexual world, you might have a chance in preserving traditional marriage. I would applaud you.

The gay community is responsible for the divorce rate?
A report issued by The National Marriage project at Rutgers University (2005), said that “only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents….the lowest figure in the western world.” Same sex marriage isn’t legal yet…. but the Homos and Lesbos are already being blamed for the divorce rate and it’s effect on children?

Those who are concerned about traditional marriage, ought to be educating and counseling heterosexual couples, helping them deal with the stresses of marital life.

The gay community is responsible for domestic violence?
Oklahoma is “ ranked 7^th nationally for the number of women murdered by men. In 2007, 23,400 incidents of domestic abuse were reported to police” (Oklahoman’s July 13, 2008, “By The Numbers”). Are these alarming incidents of domestic violence attributed to the gay community’s influence also? How are all these Homos and Lesbos beating up all these families? Shame, shame! Sally, if you could make a difference in the heterosexual world on this issue, you might preserve traditional marriage. I would give you a standing ovation.

The gay community is responsible for the decline of traditional marriage?
Pointing your finger and Bible at us for being the reason for the crumbling state of traditional marriage, is outrageous. It’s called denial. It’s called ignorance. The gay community values love, truth and faithfulness and reads from the same Bible as you. Why don’t you work on the heterosexuals, I’ll work with the homosexuals, and lets see if we can build stronger, healthier relationships in greater Oklahoma City. Doesn’t that seem like a more compassionate and Christian response?

dr pers   © 2009

Ever since my partner and I have moved to a new state and city, we have been aware of the need to find new friends. Approaching our second year of new residence, we have become more intentional about attending events where we might make some gay or lesbian friends.

We found a church we like, so we started attending more regularly. We belong to a couple of email groups and attended a few social gatherings. What have we discovered thus far?

The couples that we have had the opportunity to visit with, don’t visit back! We ask them non threatening questions, allow for a lull in the conversation, give them a chance to ask us something, and zippo!  Zero! After one and two hours of not being asked a single question, we are a bit stunned. Nobody seems interested in us.

So we took an inventory:

1. Did we make eye contact? Yes.

2. Did we ask about their interests, family, jobs, how they met? Yes.

3. Were we courteous? Yes.

4, Were we kind? Yes.

5. Did we smile? Yes

6. Toothless grin? No

7. Did we chatter nonstop? No.

8. Ask about money? No.

9. Ask about religion or politics? No.

10. Discuss Sex? No.

Obviously, we are still looking for friends. We have some more possibilities at the church we are attending, but if all else fails, there’s always straight people. I was just hoping at some point in my life, to have a few interesting lesbian friends. Wish us luck!

Ever wondered what it would be like to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes? When I was a child, I enjoyed trying to walk in my father’s worn, leather work boots. Even with tightening the long, leather laces, it took great effort to keep my toes curled and at the same time, lift those heavy boots and walk. Sometimes I fell on my face and sometimes I fell on my bum, and sometimes I just stood tall.

Ever wondered what it would be like to walk in someone else’s shoes? Ever wondered what it would be like to be the only white person in a shopping mall?  Ever wondered what it would be like to be the only black child in town? Ever wondered what it would be like to watch a clerk come out from behind the counter to watch your African American son pick out his favorite pack of gum? Of course there are already several children in the isle doing the same thing but their color is pale. Ever wondered what it’s like to be the only one not understanding the conversation, the laughter, either because you can’t hear or because you speak another language? Ever wondered what it would be like to go to school in a wheelchair? Ever wondered what it would be like to be different enough, that every time you enter a small town restaurant everyone pauses to stare?

Frankly, I wouldn’t want to trade life shoes with anyone else, mine are difficult enough. I still fall on my face, bounce on my bum and struggle to regain my composure. It makes sense to make friends with our walking shoes, change what we can, accept what we cannot, and be kind to those whose walk is different. Those who manage this simple philosophy, can stand tall in whatever size boot he or she wears. Size 8 anybody?    © 2007

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