There still seems to be a lot of people who think that gay people choose their orientation.

My nephew asked his mom (my sister), how it was that my partner came to be a part of our family?  He  finally noticed that she came with me regularly to family events and she seemed to fit in.  My sister   decided it was time to tell him that I was a lesbian.  

He did not have any extreme or shocking reaction, but his question was rather typical.  He asked if I had dated guys much in high school, which I hadn’t, so he thought that was an explanation for not liking men.  I just didn’t have enough experience with the opposite sex!

There are those who tend to think that one needs to date the opposite sex, or just haven’t met the “right” opposite sex to ring your bells.  So let’s reverse this kind of logic for the straight individual.

1.  Does a straight person need to date and fool around with the same sex in order to know whom he/she is attracted to?   Seems kind of ridiculous doesn’t  it?

2.  If you are straight, at what age did you choose  to be attracted to the opposite sex?   Not many straight people I know can answer that.  So why are there people who think we made a choice about our sexual orientation?

Yes, there are some in the world who go back and forth between same sex and opposite sex.  It sure seems like its a choice, doesn’t it?  There are also many of us, who stick regularly with the opposite sex, or same sex, and it wasn’t a conscious choice.

No, most people don’t choose their sexual orientation.

dr pers  © 2009

The following Letter to the Editor of the Oklahoma Gazette was written in response to another irrational commentary written by Rep. Sally Kern in the June 24th, 2009 OK Gazette.

Who is the threat to traditional marriage?
According to the State of our Unions 2005 report, 8.1% of coupled households consist of unmarried heterosexual partners. I am confused. I am trying to figure out how the Homos are finding these Heterosexual households and pressuring them to “live together and enjoy wild sex outside the bounds of marriage?” Shame, shame for preying on these innocent and vulnerable heterosexual partners.

The gay community is responsible for impregnating unwed mothers?
Same sex marriage isn’t legal in Oklahoma, yet ”forty plus percent of Oklahoma babies are born to unmarried mothers.” Who wants to guess how many of those unwed mothers are heterosexual? I am trying to figure out how the Homos and Lesbos are finding these unmarried women and impregnating them? Shame, shame, shame. Or might this be attributed to some heterosexual males? According to Rep. Sally Kern, “their bodies naturally fit together.”

Those who are concerned about preserving traditional marriage, ought to spend their energy on dealing with sexually active teens and unwed mothers. Sally, if you and your followers focus on making a difference in the heterosexual world, you might have a chance in preserving traditional marriage. I would applaud you.

The gay community is responsible for the divorce rate?
A report issued by The National Marriage project at Rutgers University (2005), said that “only 63% of American children grow up with both biological parents….the lowest figure in the western world.” Same sex marriage isn’t legal yet…. but the Homos and Lesbos are already being blamed for the divorce rate and it’s effect on children?

Those who are concerned about traditional marriage, ought to be educating and counseling heterosexual couples, helping them deal with the stresses of marital life.

The gay community is responsible for domestic violence?
Oklahoma is “ ranked 7^th nationally for the number of women murdered by men. In 2007, 23,400 incidents of domestic abuse were reported to police” (Oklahoman’s July 13, 2008, “By The Numbers”). Are these alarming incidents of domestic violence attributed to the gay community’s influence also? How are all these Homos and Lesbos beating up all these families? Shame, shame! Sally, if you could make a difference in the heterosexual world on this issue, you might preserve traditional marriage. I would give you a standing ovation.

The gay community is responsible for the decline of traditional marriage?
Pointing your finger and Bible at us for being the reason for the crumbling state of traditional marriage, is outrageous. It’s called denial. It’s called ignorance. The gay community values love, truth and faithfulness and reads from the same Bible as you. Why don’t you work on the heterosexuals, I’ll work with the homosexuals, and lets see if we can build stronger, healthier relationships in greater Oklahoma City. Doesn’t that seem like a more compassionate and Christian response?

dr pers   © 2009

Over a year ago, my son was interested in searching for his birth mother.  He decided not to do anything until our next visit in person, which was September of 2008.  I brought with me a letter that his birth mother had written to him when he was ten years old.  Now 24 years old, he had never seen or read it till that day.  

I was more emotional than he was.  He seemed to find it interesting but I really couldn’t read how he was feeling about it.   He just seemed very calm and thought it would be fun to meet his birth mother and sisters some day.  He wanted them to meet his wife and son and to know that he was successful and being a  responsible adult. 

During that visit,  I gave him paperwork to contact the DHS of that state and left it in his hands.  To my knowledge, he has not done anything yet.  He is busy with his career, being a husband, and now a daddy.  He has an 8 month old son at this writing.  I am a grandma!

I am sure there will be more to this story someday… but at the moment, there is no time for searching the past.  

more about finding his birth mother

dr pers